


The Doctor Is In

by kel2780



Category: The Blacklist (TV)
Genre: AU, Counseling, Depression, Doctors and Therapists, F/M, Lizzington - Freeform, couples therapy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-12
Updated: 2016-10-06
Packaged: 2018-07-23 16:00:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 13,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7469910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kel2780/pseuds/kel2780
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After two years of marriage, Tom and Elizabeth have been struggling. Will couples therapy help them mend their broken pieces?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Broken Pieces

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic. I've been reading Blacklist works for the past eight months and have desperately tried to think of something worthwhile to write. It's been quite a while since I've written anything, so bear with me.
> 
> I do not own the Blacklist or the characters, but my imagination is my own.

Elizabeth Keen had been struggling in her marriage to Tom. They had been married for two years, but lately it had seemed like neither one of them were putting much effort into it. She had been working sixty hours a week and on weekends to try and build up her new psychiatric practice. Finding new patients was slow-going. Tom was a fourth grade teacher and had been going to numerous retreats and conferences as part of his ongoing-education. He had suggested that he go back to school to get his Master’s Degree in education so that he could get more money to help them during her lull in work.

Liz had suspected that more was going on at these conferences than Tom let on. He would always be vague about anything other than presenting his material and what a great reception he had gotten. He rarely even discussed his co-workers or new people he’d met while he was gone. Tom was handsome and kind and Liz was insecure. She knew that any woman would love to snag Tom and feared that she didn’t offer much to their marriage.

One evening when they were both home for dinner, which, Liz thought, was unprecedented, Liz suggested “Why don’t we see a marriage counselor?”

“Are you kidding?”

“No, Tom. Sarah suggested it at lunch yesterday. I hadn’t seen her for weeks and I asked how she and Keith were doing now. She was so happy and excited to say they were back together, I had to ask how they patched things up. She said they had gone to a marriage counselor and he had such insight that he made them remember why they had gotten married in the first place.”

“Well Keith is a lucky man indeed. Sarah is gorgeous.”

Liz considered his response and couldn’t help but feel a twinge of discomfort at Tom’s obvious admiration of her friend. A small frown appeared on her face and Tom was quick to try and sidestep his blunder. “Just like my beautiful wife,” he said a bit too late for it to be believable.

“Sarah gave me his card that she’d been carrying around ever since and said ‘Liz, go!’ So maybe this man can help us, too.”

“C’mon Liz, do you really want to reveal all of our private details to some stranger? And when do you really think we can find the time to go?”

“You must sense how broken we’ve been lately. Don’t you think it’s worth carving out the time to try and fix us?” Liz was beginning to feel desperate so she added, “Please, Tom.”

“Okay. If it’ll make you feel better.”

Liz bit back her reply that he was patronizing her, not wanting to start the same old fight again. Tom was notorious for belittling her in public and private, even if he didn’t think anything of his little comments.

xxxxxxxxxxx

The next day at work, Liz pulled the card out of her wallet and felt her heart begin to speed up. _Why am I nervous? This man can help us._ Of course Liz knew Tom would show his ass, but if it were in front of a therapist, it might help. 

She looked at the card, worn at the corners from Sarah’s purse. 

Raymond Reddington, LPC  
Marriage and Relationship Counselor

She took a deep breath and dialed the number.

“Mr. Reddington’s office,” said a gruff sounding woman on the phone.

“Yes, I, um, I need to make an appointment for my husband and I. We’ve been having difficulties lately and Mr. Reddington comes highly recommended from my friend Sarah who said he did wonders for her and her husband Keith…” Why was she babbling?

“Fine, dearie. His first available appointment is this Friday at 9am. He does an initial consult with each couple before committing to any further sessions. He does his utmost to make sure the three of you can work comfortably together before he wastes your, or more importantly, his time.”

“That makes sense. Thank you, Friday will be fine. The name is Keen. Elizabeth and Tom Keen.”

“We will see you then, dearie.”

As Liz ended the call on her cell, she already felt better. It sounded like this Reddington was truly committed to his work, especially if his time was as valuable as the woman made it sound. 

xxxxxxxxxxxx

That night, she got home late and had clearly missed dinner if the dishes in the kitchen told her anything. Tom always cooked as Liz nearly burned down the house making spaghetti their first week there. _That was not my fault,_ she thought to herself, then shook her head to dismiss the memory.

The bedroom light was on upstairs, so she knew Tom was still awake. He had been making his way through a series about some hunters, or naked people in the woods, Liz wasn’t sure. She ascended the stairs with great effort after her long day. Tom glanced at her from his place in the bed.

“I’m sorry I missed dinner again,” Liz said.

“I’m used to it.” Tom said coldly. She knew they were beyond the disappointment phase and had entered into the quiet disillusionment of a marriage on the rocks.

“I made the appointment with that therapist today,” she said, “he can see us Friday morning at 9 o’clock.”

“Liz, I’ll have to miss work! Again!”

“What do you mean ‘again?’ I thought you had excellent attendance and had been accruing vacation and sick days that you had no time to use.” She had no idea what he meant, but the comment raised all of her flags as suspicion boiled inside her again.

“I meant all of the time I’ve had to take for conferences.”

It was the truth, Liz knew. He had been gone several days out of each month attending all of the places he could possibly get his name out along with his research. Tom was very good at selling Tom. 

“Right,” she said somewhat ashamed. “This is just the initial consultation anyway. He likes to make sure we all gel and feel comfortable before doing more. After this, we can make sure to work around school for you.” She was always accommodating for him. As if her work was any less important or required less time.

“Fine, I’ll tell the administration tomorrow.” Looking back at the television, Liz knew their conversation for the night was over. She dragged herself to the bathroom to change before hopefully getting enough rest for tomorrow.


	2. Initial Consult

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tom and Liz visit the counselor.

Friday morning came around and Liz felt painfully awkward being at home with Tom. He had awoken first and made himself cereal while he checked online for more journals to submit his work. Liz came into the kitchen quietly and got her much needed coffee. Tom didn’t acknowledge her presence and Liz said nothing. 

Driving to the counseling office, Liz said “Please try to open up for this Tom. In order for this to work, you have to talk.” He huffed some sound of approval as they pulled into the parking lot. 

Inside, a small woman with dark glasses and a grim expression welcomed them. Liz almost giggled because the voice on the phone and the woman in the seat before them were an unmistakable match. 

“You must be the Keens. Have a seat, Mr. Reddington will be right with you.”

The room was small with only a loveseat and a couple of chairs. Liz sat to one side of the loveseat leaving room for Tom, but he chose to sit in one of the chairs. _As if we weren’t completely obvious to anyone that looks,_ Liz thought.

Tom grabbed the swimsuit edition of Sports Illustrated from the table with a grin as Liz fidgeted with her hands in her lap.

______________________

“The Keens are here,” Kate said on the phone. 

“Thank you.” Raymond sighed as he realized he’d be helping yet another couple find each other again. He wished it had worked that way in his own marriage, but the divorce had pushed him toward wanting to help others and he was good. His word-of-mouth referrals were keeping him busy which distracted him from his personal life. 

Opening the door, Raymond saw the man quickly toss his magazine to the table and in a flash was by his wife’s side. He took note that the man had been in a solitary chair instead of with his wife. He also glanced at the table to see the swimsuit edition askew atop the other magazines.

“Good morning, you must be Tom and Elizabeth!”

The man beamed a friendly smile as he put his arm around his wife’s waist. “Tom Keen,” he said extending his hand to shake. The firm grip made Raymond aware of the man’s confidence, but the sideways glance from her spoke volumes.

“And you must be Elizabeth,” extending his hand to her. She shook it tentatively without a word.

Once inside they sat on a large sofa across from what was clearly Raymond’s comfortable chair. He sat down and crossed his right left over his left. Tom sat down at one end of the sofa while Liz sat on the other side, leaving ample space between them.

“Tell me about yourselves,” Raymond began. “I like to get to know people and learn their likes and dislikes.”

Sitting at attention, Tom began without hesitation. “As I said, I’m Tom Keen. I’m currently teaching fourth grade at the local primary school. I love my job and I’ve been working toward a Master’s in education. I’ve presented my research at numerous conferences and have gotten several invites to join groups on the cutting edge of new teaching methods.”

_He sounds like he’s at an interview,_ Liz thought. _Tom knows how to sell Tom._

Liz sat quietly as Tom went on about his research, “You see I’ve taken advantage of my opportunities and I’m making something of myself while Liz is struggling to find new patients.” Liz noted how he was sneering at her occupation even though opening her own psychiatric office had been a major step forward.

“It certainly sounds like you are excelling in your work,” Raymond said. 

“I am,” Tom beamed.

“And Elizabeth, Tom mentioned ‘new patients’ are you a doctor?” Raymond turned his attention to the attractive demure woman on the sofa.

“No, I’m a psychiatrist. I recently opened up my own office and have been trying to grow my clientele, but it has been slow.” She looked down at her hands, somewhat ashamed that she had been unable to draw patients away from her last office. 

She didn’t continue and seemed upset, so Raymond had to probe a little more. “Well opening your own office sounds like a big move. Although it can be a slow start, it is definitely very rewarding.” He gave her a small smile.

“Yes, I enjoy what I do.” The corner of her mouth twitched up at the thought and she continued. “I mainly help children going through difficult situations. Anything from parents divorcing to behavioral issues at school or physical abuse.” Her posture began to shift as she sat more upright and sounded proud of her work. 

“That can be very rewarding indeed, but it can also be a constant source of stress,” Raymond said. “How do the two of you spend your time away from work? It sounds like you are both very busy.”

Tom and Liz looked at each other with blank expressions. Suddenly Raymond understood.

“I see,” he said as their silence persisted. “Well I would be more than happy to work with you if you are interested. I think I can provide a bridge to the gap you two have been suffering through.”

Liz truly smiled for the first time since arriving at Reddington’s office. Raymond took note. “I think that would be fantastic, don’t you think Tom?”

Tom’s brilliant response was, “I guess.” Liz shot him a questioning look. Tom shrugged.

“Great. I like to see couples at least once a week and on occasion I may ask for separate appointments to allow for independent discussion away from your spouse,” Raymond clarified. “See Kate to set up your next appointment. It was a pleasure to meet you both.”

Tom shook Raymond’s hand once again as Liz nodded slipping out the door.

Raymond sat down at his desk and realized that this was simply another classic case of not making time for each other. This would be easy.  
 


	3. Date Night

The following week saw the Keens in their first true counseling session. Per Tom’s wishes, it had been scheduled at 4 o’clock after school was out. Liz had to leave work early. 

Arriving at the office and sitting as they had before, Raymond began to get them to open up. 

“I noted last week that the two of you are very busy with work and that has seemed to take away from your time with each other.”

Tom piped up first, “When we first got married, Liz was finishing up her PhD and I had just gotten my job at a new school. We spent more time together than not and we would often go out with friends,” his expression began to change as he continued. “But now that she decided to go out on her own, she’s never home and when she is, we’re either sleeping or not talking.”

“Don’t make this my fault, Tom. We had agreed that it would be more beneficial for us if we found ways to make more money.” Liz was growing weary of the same old fight.

“Yes, but I didn’t think that your work would supersede our marriage!”

“Okay,” Raymond interjected, “let’s try to avoid placing blame in this situation. Marriages take two people dedicated to each other to work. It sounds like you both have grown independently but have forgotten to grow together and share the experience.”

Liz nodded while Tom rolled his eyes with a huff. She shot him an exasperated look across the sofa. She couldn’t believe how he was trying to push this off on her, as if she had deliberately decided to work more hours instead of spend time with him. Even though her thoughts began to stray toward her suspicions of infidelity, she had no proof and figured by mentioning it she would come across as bitter and accusing.

“Before next week, my suggestion is this:” Raymond hated giving ‘homework’ to couples who shouldn’t feel like marriage was a chore, “pick a time and have a date night. Just the two of you. Go out to a nice restaurant, have a quiet dinner and spend time with each other.”

Liz beamed at his suggestion. Raymond noted the hope in her eyes and she appeared almost giddy. _Why didn’t I think of that in the first place?_ she thought. One glance at Tom’s confused expression instantly deflated her. 

“Tom,” Raymond asked, “is there a problem?”

“No, but good luck getting Liz to make time for me. Why should I have to schedule a date night with my own wife?”

“Tom, this is for us. Can’t you give me the chance to show you that I can always make time for you?” Liz was upset and felt her eyes tear up.

“Always make time after someone tells you to,” Tom muttered under his breath.

Raymond was starting to realize that this would not be as easy as he thought. Clearly the husband had no more affection for his wife and didn’t hesitate to make her feel inferior.

 _How could he not love such a beautiful young woman?_ Raymond thought. _She’s been nothing but kind and hopeful, going out of her way to try and make this marriage work – although it’s clear that he is over it. If she were mine, I would_ — Raymond instantly stopped his train of thought. Why was he thinking about his client that way? _She’s a client. A married client. She hasn’t so much as thought about you – but isn’t that what makes her so amazing?_ His inner war continued as he asked and answered his own questions. _She is so dedicated to a marriage that clearly isn’t worth the time and effort anymore. She’s trying; he isn’t._

By the time Raymond’s attention came back to the conversation, he heard Tom’s acquiescence. “Fine.”

“Okay, well make sure to try and find each other again. Put the differences aside for one night and talk like you used to. Enjoy yourselves.” Raymond felt guilty for even suggesting it now. “Be sure to see Kate on your way out for next week’s appointment.”

“Thank you Mr. Reddington,” Liz said before walking out.

This time Tom said nothing and followed her out.

Raymond slumped down heavily in his desk chair, rubbing his hand over his short hair and down his face. _What was that?_ But he couldn’t help but remember how her eyes had beamed at his idea, oceans of shining blue. He mentally shook himself, get it together, Ray. He nodded once, but all too soon his lips turned up as he thought about how the sunlight had graced her hair, as if the world was shining its light on an angel.

xxxxxxxxxxx

Liz was getting excited about date night. She still asked herself why she hadn’t thought of it, but smiled as she knew that Mr. Reddington really was as good as Sarah had said.

She slipped into a lovely floral dress as Tom was finishing up in the bathroom. Setting aside her shoes, she held up different necklaces to herself in the mirror. Somehow, date night was beginning to feel like her first date with Tom. She was happy, nervous, and excited at the prospect of going out with her husband, like old times.

Tom emerged from the bathroom in khakis, a light blue button-down shirt with a tie. Liz just smiled at how handsome he really was and how lucky she was to have him.

“Where are we dining this evening?” she asked.

“I made a reservation at Bella Notte.”

On the drive to the restaurant they laughed and enjoyed each other’s company for the first time in months. Liz was so happy that things felt normal again.

Once they were seated, Tom ordered them a bottle of wine for the evening. Liz grinned and her eyebrows shot up as Tom splurged for their date. He offered up a toast, “To my girl,” and Liz corrected, “To us.”

As dinner continued, they ate and talked freely just like they used to. Tom had been regaling her with stories from school and the strange antics that teachers got up to at conferences. “And the next thing we know Ashley had pushed Bill into the pool! He came up sputtering and cursing like a sailor.”

Liz laughed even though she had no idea who these people were. Maybe Tom was finally opening up and talking about work, sharing the details she had been asking about each time he came home from a conference. 

“Speaking of conferences,” Tom said with a frown, “I have to leave on Tuesday.”

“What?! Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

“You were so excited about date night after our counseling session, I was hesitant to burst your bubble.” 

“For how long?”

“I’ll come home Saturday.”

“But we have another session scheduled for Friday afternoon! What am I supposed to tell Mr. Reddington?”

“How about the truth?” Tom seemed confused as to why this was a problem.

Liz sighed and nodded in surrender. After that, their date had turned quiet and somber. By the time they left the restaurant, Liz was disillusioned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's crazy how this is really coming out of me so fast. I know it's not the best, but I'm still trying!


	4. A Night Out

As planned, Tom packed and left home Tuesday morning, heading to Philadelphia. His conference schedule had a meet-and-greet Tuesday night before roundtable discussions started on Wednesday. He was scheduled to present on Friday.

Liz kissed him goodbye before she left for work. “Have a good time,” she offered as she closed the door behind her.

At the office, she only had a couple of clients scheduled. A sad and dejected 7-year old girl who was being bullied at school then, in the afternoon, a teenage boy who had been picked up for marijuana possession and directed to attend counseling sessions.

The parents of the little girl had thanked her profusely and the boy, who’d driven himself, handed over his papers to get signed as proof of his mandatory therapy.

Once she finished, she tried to figure out what she was going to do with her free nights until Tom returned. She thought about calling Sarah, but decided against it as she was probably happy spending time with Keith again. Liz didn’t want to intrude. _Kayla!_ she thought. _I haven’t spoken to her in weeks and I’m sure she’d love some company at the bar._

Liz flipped through her contacts until she came upon Kayla’s number. Being mid-afternoon, she knew that Kayla would be at home because she didn’t start her evenings at the bar until 7:00. Sometimes it was handy knowing a bartender – the occasional free drink and conversation was uninhibited. 

“Kayla!” Liz exclaimed, “how would you like some company at the bar?”

“Liz?! Oh my gosh! I would love to see you, but let’s wait until my day off so that I can sit with you and properly dish the dirt. How about tomorrow night?”

“That sounds great Kayla, meet you at the bar around 8?”

“Awesome! Thanks for calling Liz,” as she hung up.

Suddenly Liz didn’t feel as alone as she often did when Tom was away. No binge watching Netflix or early nights for her! She was going out.

xxxxxxxxxx

Wednesday night Liz put on her cute teal keyhole blouse and some black pants that accentuated her assets before slipping into her heels and rushing out the door.

When she walked into the bar, Kayla jumped up from her stool and rushed over to hug her. “Liz! It’s so good to see you again! Where have you been?”

“Work has kept me busy. I’m so sorry for not calling sooner, I’ve missed you!”

“I missed you too! The first round is on me,” she said as she waved over the night’s bartender. “A blue motorcycle and a Long Island iced tea.”

Liz grinned and settled into the bar stool beside her friend. 

“Why isn’t Tom with you tonight?” Kayla asked.

“He went to a teacher’s conference in Philadelphia this week.” Kayla gave a little pout and nodded her understanding. “He’ll be back this weekend.”

“You are so lucky to have such a handsome and loving husband,” Kayla said with a sigh. “I wish I could find someone like him.”

Liz chose not to say anything, but smiled and took a sip of her drink.

Conversation with Kayla was always entertaining. As a bartender she always had stories and dirt on her regular customers. After an hour Liz was relaxed and almost finished with her second drink. They were laughing in tandem as the bartender came over to them, drink in hand. He set the purple drink in front of Liz and said, “From the man in the booth over there.”

Liz’s confused expression and Kayla’s questioning look had them both turning around immediately to see who had bought her drink.

Through the now darkened bar, Liz saw him. Raymond Reddington. He smiled and lifted his scotch toward Liz. She smiled and waved shyly to him. The drink tasted like spring and she lifted it toward him in gratitude.

“Who is that?” Kayla asked.

“His name is Raymond Reddington. He’s a therapist.” Liz wisely decided to avoid specifics as Kayla was one to gossip.

“Oh, you know him through your work. That was certainly nice of him, what’s his story?”

“I don’t know,” Liz admitted. “I’ve only spoken to him a couple of times.”

“Well he certainly is handsome. And boy, is he rockin’ that suit!” Kayla pretended to fan herself with her coaster. 

“Kayla!” Liz squeaked out as they both dissolved into a fit of giggles.

Liz couldn’t help but glance back toward Reddington alone in the booth. He certainly did look good in that suit, Liz realized, why had she not noticed before? _Because you’re married to Tom and during the sessions you’ve been focused on how frustrating he can be!_ Liz chided herself for expending all her energy in sessions flustered by Tom.

As she realized she was still staring in his direction, she quickly snapped her head back to her friend, hoping that no one had noticed. “Liz, you’re blushing!”

“I am not!” Liz felt mortified and betrayed by her body’s reaction to a handsome man in a suit. “I need to use the restroom,” she said and quickly rushed off in that direction.

She looked at herself in the mirror and realized that her face was flushed. It’s the alcohol, Liz told herself. She splashed cold water across her cheeks and took a deep breath. Her mind wandered back to Reddington as she eyed herself in the mirror. _Now that I think of it, his voice is rather soothing. It’s compassion and caring laced with sex and seduction._ She laughed at her ridiculous thoughts and exited the ladies’ room shaking her head.

As she walked back toward her friend, she heard that very voice speak her name, “Elizabeth!”

Turning around she saw Reddington putting on his coat and walking toward her. _Why is my heart thundering in my chest? He’s my marriage counselor for God’s sake!_ Taking a deep breath, she responded, “Mr. Reddington, thank you for the drink.”

“Please, we’re not in the office, call me Raymond.”

“Okay… Raymond. Thank you for the drink.”

“Not at all, I’m just glad to see you having such a good time.” His smile seemed genuine and Liz smiled shyly, averting her eyes. “Don’t be ashamed, everyone deserves to enjoy themselves with friends. Have a good evening and I will see you Friday.” And just like that, he was gone.

Liz went back to Kayla at the bar. “Liz, you looked like a shy schoolgirl talking to her crush. Who _**is**_ that man?”

“I really don’t know him very well Kayla, but he is pretty hot, isn’t he?”

Again both girls giggled and went back to their drinks.


	5. Communication Breakdown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I keep thinking of new things to add to this story, so I'm continuing to write. I hope it doesn't get too convoluted or doesn't go too OOC, but this is AU, so if it does, so be it.

Thursday morning, Liz woke with a headache. She had gotten home late via taxi and would have to call another to take her back to her car. She trudged into the bathroom to get ready for work and immediately took some aspirin. 

As she stepped into the shower, she tried to clear the fog in her mind and put together pieces from last night. She and Kayla had been drinking and catching up. She shouldn’t have finished that second drink so quickly. Once she had that next drink from Raymond… wait, Raymond! _Oh my God_ she thought as she ran her hand across her face. _He looked so good in that suit and he bought me a drink._ His smile at her happiness was so genuine that she began to melt and felt so shy she could barely speak. _Kayla did say I looked like a schoolgirl…_ Liz leaned her forehead on the front of the shower in embarrassment. _I’m sure he noticed and I made such a fool of myself._ Well, the conversation had been short, so perhaps it didn’t seem as bad as she thought, but she was pretty tipsy by then. Shaking her head, she finished her shower and got ready for work.

The nagging feeling of shame stayed with her all day. _I didn’t even do anything, he simply said hello and bought me a drink. I thanked him and he left. Why do I feel like an idiot?_ Liz couldn’t imagine what was going through her head. She brushed it aside and decided to call Tom. It was lunchtime, maybe he was in between sessions and she could catch him. She pulled out her cell and proceeded to call.

_________________________________

In Philadelphia, Tom was at lunch. The hotel had been providing food for the conference attendees, but yesterday’s offering of bland turkey sandwiches didn’t appeal to him. As he stood in the lobby deciding what to do, Ashley ran up to him.

“Hey Tom, let’s go somewhere for lunch.” She smiled brightly and bumped his shoulder with hers.

“Hi Ashley. Where have you been this morning?” Tom asked as he snaked an arm around her shoulders, pulling her close.

“Some discussion on alternative study habits,” she groaned. “The moderator made us all sit in beanbag chairs and come up with fun ways of remembering basic tenets of education.” There was a pained expression on her face.

Tom laughed at her displeasure, “Well at least you were comfortable. Where should we go?”

“I have an idea,” Ashley said with a mischievous glint in her eye. “The next sessions don’t start until 2pm, so we have a lot of free time…” She slid her hand into the back pocket of his jeans.

Tom pulled a key card from his front pocket and looked at her knowingly. Together they left for the elevators up to his room.

As Tom and Ashley were busy in the shower, Tom’s phone began to ring on the dresser.

_________________________________

Liz sighed in her office and left a message for Tom.

“Hey babe, I miss you. I hope your conference isn’t too boring, I know how those can be. I can’t wait until you come home this weekend. Try and call me sometime today. I’ll be at work, but I’d much rather talk to you.”

She quietly hung up and decided on Chinese takeout for lunch.

xxxxxxxxxx

By the time Liz turned out the light in her bedroom, she had not heard from Tom. Her anxiety grew as much as her suspicions. She laid back onto her pillow and pulled the covers tight around her all the way up to her chin, hoping that she could create a barrier against her own thoughts.

When her alarm went off in the morning, Liz was still tired. She had a fitful sleep although she couldn’t remember ever waking up. She checked her phone before she made her way to the shower. There was a text message from Tom.

_Hey babe. Late night out with friends. Talk later._

It was timestamped 3am. Liz frowned and wrinkled her forehead at the message. 3am certainly was a late night if the bars closed at 2am. Plus he was supposed to present his research today. It didn’t seem wise to be out late the night before and possibly be hungover for his session. Liz thought through all of this in the shower. She would have to bring it up today with Raymond.

Raymond – it still felt strange to her to be on a first name basis with a man she only met alongside her husband in marriage counseling. Of course he had become Raymond instead of Mr. Reddington when he found her in an inebriated state at the bar. He had been so kind and encouraging. Calling him ‘Mr. Reddington’ after that would feel like she was in the principal’s office after having been caught drinking at school. No, he would never be Mr. Reddington again to her. Not after that.

xxxxxxxxxx

All day Liz put together the pieces of what she wanted to tell Raymond. He had mentioned individual sessions during their intake, so this would just serve as hers. It would be so much easier to talk about her fears and suspicions alone first without Tom there playing the victim.

Meanwhile, Raymond was in his office preparing for his session with the Keens. He had given them a good starting point by suggesting they go on a date. If they could rekindle some of the feelings that they had initially, then they could find their way through the mire of their current relationship.

But Raymond was beginning to feel torn about that decision. Elizabeth was such a nice girl and Tom seemed… _kind of like an ass,_ he decided, if he were honest with himself. _She seemed so happy the other night with her friend, perhaps the date went well after all._ Raymond wasn’t sure he wanted her back with a man that didn’t give her the respect and attention that she deserved. _I shouldn’t be thinking like this anyway,_ and he went back to his files, determined to continue to give the Keens his best advice. He did have a stellar reputation as a therapist and he intended to keep it that way.


	6. Suspicions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elizabeth has a solo session with Raymond.

Liz walked into the small outer room to Raymond’s office. She said hello to Kate at the desk and made her apologies for her husband. Kate promptly called to tell Raymond that his 4 o’clock was here. Liz noted how she didn’t say “the Keens” as she had before or simply “Elizabeth Keen” as she would have assumed. Maybe she was putting too much thought into something so trivial, but it made her mind wander.

On the other side of the wall, Raymond prepared himself for the Keens. He didn’t know if Elizabeth would have mentioned her run-in with him at the bar to Tom. Secretly, he hoped not as he wasn’t sure how Tom would receive the news of another man buying her a drink while she was out with a friend. Especially while she looked so stunning and was slightly tipsy. 

He sighed at his childish longing for another man’s wife. He hadn’t thought about women for some time, turning down the few offers from the somewhat pushy middle-aged singles who preyed on unsuspecting divorcés. Carla had scarred him and he had been punishing himself for years, feeling like a failure.

Reminding himself to remain professional, he slowly got up and dragged himself toward the door to greet the Keens who undoubtedly had reconnected on their date.

When he opened the door, he plastered on his best welcoming smile and said “Hello,” but his word ended up clipped at the end when he saw only Elizabeth waiting for him.

Liz stood up with a sad smile and nodded at him before walking into the office.

__________________________

“Well it is a pleasure to see you here, but where is Tom?” He felt as if his question had come off a little upset or put-off.

“He’s out of town again,” she mentioned sadly, “at another conference.”

“I see. Well we can certainly still have our session if you don’t mind, but if you would rather have Tom with you, we can reschedule.”

Liz shook her head as her face became stony. “I’d rather use this opportunity as my individual session. There are things that I would like to discuss.”

Raymond’s heart sped up and his hands began to sweat a little as he had assumed that she meant they would discuss his actions at the bar. He didn’t want to hear her awkward attempts to push him away as she had begun to fix things with Tom. He tried his best to mask his fear of being rejected, even if there was nothing happening. The feeling of failure and loss still remained a tender wound.

“Where would you like to begin?” he asked, hoping that it was vague enough to get her talking.

“Well, it’s about Tom.”

Internally, Raymond desperately wanted her to continue down a path where she would be dismissing Tom Keen from her life, but that was miles away from her statement. She could just as easily be getting ready to tell him how wonderful their date had been and how their sessions with him would be ending soon. He remained guarded.

“Ah yes, how was the date I suggested for the two of you?” he smiled as if he wanted the news to be wonderful.

“Honestly, it was great.” Raymond was sure she could hear his heart break. He certainly felt deflated. His expression must have been blank because she continued. “We had a fantastic dinner at Bella Notte and the conversation flowed so easily between us.”

“Then the two of you have reconnected.” It was a statement, not a question, so Raymond was shocked when Elizabeth spoke again.

“Well, not exactly,” she offered, seemingly pained by the words. “The date was great and we laughed and had a good time, but near the end Tom said he had to leave Tuesday for another conference.”

“And why is that a problem? He has been attending them quite frequently as I understand.”

“Yes he has, but that’s where some of the problem lies. Not because he’s away a lot of the time, but I’ve grown suspicious.” She looked down at her hands wringing them with worry. Raymond noticed that she was increasingly uncomfortable talking about Tom.

“How so?”

“Well he’s always been so proud of his research and his accomplishments, but he’s never spoken about what happens at the conferences when he comes home.” Liz was choosing her words carefully so she didn’t sound as if she was overreacting. “I always ask how it went, where did he go, who did he spend time with, but he gives vague answers. He has never spoken about school either, co-workers, kids in class, nothing.”

“Do you share details about your own work?” Raymond was trying to find some logical connection to alleviate her fears.

“As much as I can without breaking confidentiality. He knows my friends and co-workers, I tell him how I’ve been trying to find new patients so that I can expand and possibly hire other counselors for the office. It feels like I’m always talking about work and Tom is always talking about Tom.”

“Well I certainly believe it’s possible that Tom had felt threatened by your success as a psychiatrist and that is why he’s decided to further his own career. He most likely talks about himself to restore his confidence and masculinity in the relationship. But as to his withholding information or being guarded about his time away,” Raymond shook his head, “I can’t say.”

Liz realized that his analysis of Tom’s new found pride made perfect sense. She had always been a strong woman and forged into her education and career with her head held high. It made sense that the quiet school teacher felt as if he was less than her equal.

But what about her suspicions of his infidelity? She decided to come out with it.

“I suspect Tom is having an affair and he’s using these conferences for his rendezvous.” She practically blurted out this information and Raymond briefly closed his eyes, trying to protect himself from her pained expression.

She immediately worried that Raymond thought she was irrational. He had closed his eyes after her declaration and she knew he would think she was making too great a leap at Tom’s frequent trips. She slouched in her seat and tried to explain.

“He has only made little slips that cause me to suspect him. It’s like little red flags go up inside my head, warning me that something is off.”

Once Raymond looked at her again, he seemed inquisitive and concerned.

“When I made our first appointment here, he said something about ‘missing work again,’ but to my knowledge he’s been at school every day he’s been home. He also spoke up too quickly trying to explain his comment, as if what he’d said needed clarifying. 

“Also,” Liz averted her eyes and blushed slightly before saying, “he’s been distant in the bedroom. He immediately showers whenever he comes home and never seems to want me too close in bed.” Her blush deepened further and she spoke more quietly, “When we do make love, it’s very brief and it always seems as if he’s just going through the motions. He lies down naked and waits, avoids touching me if he can, and then promptly falls asleep once he’s rolled over.”

Raymond was furious. Tom had caused Elizabeth to feel less like a woman and more like a sex object. Of course she was eager to please him if they had been having trouble, probably hoping that the closeness would bring them together. Instead, all she received was Tom’s ego and his belittling comments.

_Elizabeth! Get rid of that asshole!_ he screamed in his head. Raymond clamped his teeth down and steeled himself against his feelings so that he could remain clinical. She was hurting and he had to be the voice of reason. He knew, however, that he would never try to help her fix her broken marriage. He just had to be careful on how to proceed.


	7. What To Do

Raymond had to gather himself before responding to Elizabeth’s painful accusations. It was one thing to alleviate a client’s suspicions, but it was entirely another to make decisions for them. He couldn’t tell her if she was right or wrong, even if he felt she was right. 

Ever since he’d met her he felt he was emotionally involved. She was so beautiful and so kind. How could she not see what Tom has done to her? How much more she can be without him? Raymond felt a twinge of guilt because he knew, as a therapist, that he should have referred them to another clinician. Emotional entanglements were dangerous and caused you to lose objectivity. He certainly lost his after seeing Elizabeth at the bar that night. 

He ventured to speak, hoping his voice didn’t come across angry or upset. 

“Red flags are usually a sign that your brain senses something is wrong. When things don’t seem right, typically they aren’t. No one knows your relationship better than you. I can’t confirm or deny your suspicions, but to have them at all means something.”

“But how can I be sure? What should I do?”

“I can’t answer that, Elizabeth. You have to do what you’re comfortable with. Only you know how much this is bothering you. Only you know how much you can take.” He ventured on, “suspicions and doubt eat away at you from the inside out. I know that you’re aware of how unhealthy these emotions can be, not only to you, but also to a relationship.”

Liz nodded, holding back tears. She had felt how much the suspicions were consuming her, dominating her thoughts both at home and away. Thoughts that had interfered with her work and also her time spent with Tom, wondering. She knew she had to do something, she was a psychiatrist for God’s sake. Maybe she just needed someone to encourage her.

She had become so grateful to Raymond for his understanding as well as his clinical advice. He had been spot-on so far and she was sure that this was no different. 

“Thank you Mr. Re- uh, Raymond. I had been so upset by this, so consumed with guilt for feeling this way that I was sure it was me being ridiculous.”

“It’s perfectly normal to feel that way when you doubt someone you love, but your red flags have some merit as well. It’s likely that something is off between the two of you. But now it’s up to you to do something about those feelings. Remember that communication is important in any relationship.”

Liz sighed heavily, knowing that any conversation with Tom about her feelings would be disastrous. Especially if she was accusing him of something. Tom wasn’t violent, but his words could cut like a knife, leaving her just as wounded.

Looking at the little clock on Raymond’s desk, Liz gasped at the time. “Oh my gosh, we’re over our time! I’m so sorry for keeping you. I never meant to-” Raymond cut her off immediately.

“Don’t worry about it. If it was the time I was worried about, I would have stopped you. But you were concerned and needed to get some things off your chest.” He thought quickly on whether he should go on or not, then continued. “I must say that I enjoy speaking with you Elizabeth, and I’m glad that you decided to come regardless of Tom’s absence.”

Liz smiled, “Thank you. I’m glad I came as well.” As she stood to collect her purse and ready herself to leave, Raymond reached for her elbow.

“I’m sorry if I made you feel awkward with your friend the other night. I didn’t mean to intrude.”

“Oh, of course not! I was terribly afraid that I embarrassed myself.” Liz blushed.

“Not at all, you were quite charming.” Liz giggled at the thought. Raymond took a chance then, “You were absolutely breathtaking – and happy,” he finished carefully.

Liz felt herself blush deeper and smiled shyly, “Thank you. Even if I was a little tipsy.”

“Nonsense. You were lovely.”

Raymond wanted to continue the conversation, but felt that it would be terribly inappropriate if he mentioned it. He just so desperately wanted to know more about this woman - her likes and dislikes, where she grew up, what her hopes and dreams were, anything just to keep her talking. He was mesmerized.

He desperately wanted more time with her, but he knew that was crossing a line. He simply smiled and offered her his time. “If you’d like to continue our individual appointments, please don’t hesitate to set up another appointment for yourself. I would be more than happy to see you again.” His breath caught in his throat, perhaps that had been too much.

“I’d like that,” she said. Raymond released his breath in relief. “Tom is coming home tomorrow. I’ll remind him of our session next Friday as well.”

There it was again, Tom. Raymond felt guilty again for his interest in her. Forcing a smile and hoping to withhold the disappointment from his voice, he said, “Great. I’ll be looking forward to it.”

As she started walking out the door, he stopped her. “Elizabeth!” She turned back to him. “Here’s my cell number,” he scribbled on the back of his card, “if you need anything, if only a sounding board for your concerns, please call me. Anytime, day or night.”

She looked down at the number, tears welling in her eyes. “Thank you. This means a lot to me. I appreciate how kind and patient you’ve been. It’s good to know someone cares.”

He smiled genuinely and nodded once as she walked out of the office.

xxxxxxxxx

As soon as Liz was in her car, she saved his number in her phone next to his office number. He really was sweet, and it was refreshing to have a man show some interest in her. _Liz, he’s paid to care._ She hated how insecure she’d grown lately. Perhaps Tom had done more damage to her psyche than she thought. She’ll have to talk to Raymond about that next time.

_Next time,_ she liked the sound of that. She’d have to set up that appointment soon. She had to admit that she wanted to spend more time with him. _He must have some interest if he bought me that drink… But it’s not like I can ask him out._ She still had Tom to deal with once he got home. _The sooner the better,_ she thought.

Liz drove home feeling confident and reassured.


	8. Confrontation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking a while to update this. I have the outline in my head, but a trip to the beach and then not feeling up to writing made me take a break. I really envy those of you who can bust right through a story, posting so quickly. And now I really understand those who take so long to update sometimes. Love to the frequent posters and forgiveness for those who can't.

Liz went to bed Friday night thinking about what to say to Tom. _How does one go about that conversation? ‘Tom, we need to talk.’ Ugh, that sounds so cliché and it will surely put him on the defensive immediately. ‘Tom, I’ve had some concerns…’ What am I, his teacher? This is impossible._ She lay awake well into the night going over options, but nothing seemed right.

Maybe a different approach. _‘Tom, is there a reason why you never share your work life with me?’ or better, ‘why don’t you share your work life with me?’_ She didn’t want to sound accusing right off by insinuating that there was some sinister reason. _‘When did we stop talking? How come we don’t share anymore?’_ Those were sounding better. Questions like that she could even ask casually while eating dinner. No need to make this talk a spectacle. _Act like it just crossed your mind. Yes. That will do nicely._

Liz fell asleep with the confidence Raymond had given her earlier in the day as well as her own determination that this could be done without too much fanfare.

xxxxxxxxxxx

Saturday morning, Liz slept in a bit after her late night. Tom wasn’t due to come home until this afternoon, so she decided to go out for breakfast.

Just down the street was a café with the most delicious pastries and breakfast sandwiches Liz had found in the city. Coffee was also a must-have to fortify any nerves that may surface today. After ordering, she took her coffee outside to a small table to enjoy the morning and watch the passers-by. 

As she was sipping her coffee and waiting on her food, she heard her name.

“Elizabeth!”

She knew that voice. It was then that the déjà vu hit her. The bar. Raymond. When she looked up, she saw the man stop in front of her.

“I thought that was you sitting there,” he said. “I was just walking down to the farmer’s market to get some fresh produce.”

She looked at him with a wary eye and questioning brow. “Seriously?”

“Absolutely! I had planned on making a superb dinner this evening as Kate and my good friend Dembe are coming over. They’re like my family.”

“I see… wait, you cook?” Liz looked completely shocked.

Attempting not to laugh at the look on her face, Raymond replied, “Of course. It’s an essential skill in life.” He grinned, some of the humor coming out.  
“I never could cook,” she said, “I nearly burn the house down if I try anything more complex than grilled cheese.”

Raymond laughed heartily at her admission. He shook his head at her. “Lizzie, you really should learn how to make a few complete meals if only for entertaining friends.”

Liz felt her heart skip a beat at his use of the nickname. No one had really ever called her Lizzie since she was a child. She hated that it sounded so infantile, but from Raymond’s lips, she loved it. Elizabeth was a bit too formal anyway.

“You called me Lizzie,” she nearly whispered, looking down into her coffee cup.

Raymond blanched at the mistake. He really had crossed a line now. Was she upset? He couldn’t tell. “I’m sorry. Elizabeth. I don’t know where that came from.”

“Don’t worry about it. It sounds nice. Please, feel free to call me Lizzie.” She began to blush.

“Very well then. Lizzie.” He smiled and looked into her eyes.

Just then, a waiter came out with her order and placed her dish on the table. It seemed to be enough to shake them both from their admiration of each other. Blinking and feeling somewhat awkward, Liz offered, “You’re welcome to join me for breakfast if you like.”

“No, no. I need to be going.” He was so flustered by staring into her eyes, he almost lost himself completely. _Thank goodness the waiter came._ “Good luck this afternoon when Tom comes home. I’m sure you’ll be fine. Remember to call if you need anything.”

“Thank you, Raymond. I’m feeling much better about it now.” She sighed at the thought of Tom. “See you next week.” She watched him walk away toward the corner, turning his head as he went. She waved and saw him tip his hat before turning toward the market.

Her gaze wandered off as she thought about him and she sipped her coffee. _Lizzie. With that voice, he can call me whatever he likes._ She huffed a laugh then and started eating.

_________________________________________________________

Tom returned home around 2pm. Liz had been in the living room watching some tv show about cooking since she and Red had that conversation earlier. She heard him come through the door and set down his things in front of the stairs.

“Hey babe,” he called from the foyer, setting his messenger bag beside the door.

“Hey yourself,” she said and clambered up to meet him in the doorway. “How was the conference?”

Tom sighed, but had a pleased look on his face. “Really good. I think my presentation went over pretty well and I got some good feedback from the members of my panel.”

“Great news,” Liz said, going up on her toes to kiss his cheek.

“Yeah, I think I’m gonna take my stuff upstairs and hop in the shower. I hate traveling.”

Liz winced at the thought of his showering as soon as he got home. _That had to mean something,_ she thought again.

Tom bounded off up the stairs with his suitcase and Liz stood frozen in the hallway for a few minutes, thinking about everything that would surely come up this afternoon or evening. She dreaded the conversation, but still felt sure she was right to bring it up. Communication was key, even if she might not believe him.

She began ascending the stairs to their bedroom and she heard the shower start and Tom pulling the curtain aside.

_I’ll get some laundry started I guess,_ she figured Tom would need clothes after nearly a week away. She pulled his suitcase up on the bed and unlatched it, swinging the lid open. Pulling the laundry basket over, she began throwing some of his things in with hers and that’s when she saw it. Panties. Lacey pink women’s panties. 

_What the fuck?!_ She thought, refusing to touch the item in question. _Oh my God, that stupid motherfucker…_ she stalked to the bathroom, throwing the door open hard enough for it to bounce off of the wall.

“What the fuck Tom?!” she spat into the steamy bathroom.

Tom peeked his head out of the shower with a confused look on his face, “What? What happened?” She nearly went straight over to him to bash his face in, but stood solid just inside the door, glaring at him. “What is it?”

Seething, Liz snarled through bared teeth “There are women’s panties in your suitcase! What the fuck Tom?” It was the only sentence that seemed to keep coming to the surface.

Tom looked down, away from Liz as he muttered a quiet “oh fuck…” before regaining his composure and scrambling to turn off the shower. Wrapping himself quickly in a towel and leaping out of the shower to chase an angry Liz back into the bedroom, he saw her stop in front of the suitcase again. That’s when Tom saw them – Ashley’s sexy pink panties nestled in with his dirty clothes. “Liz…”

“NO! You do not get to try and excuse this! I will not believe anything you have to say to this…”

Tom stuttered to try and find some bullshit he could spout quickly enough, “One of the girls at the conference… she was there with her boyfriend and they had a huge fight. She needed somewhere to crash and I let her have my couch in the suite. She was crying and wanted to take a shower. Her things must have gotten mixed up with mine in the bathroom when I packed.” 

Liz just shook her head through his whole story. “So what, now I’m just supposed to wash her things for her and pretend that you were just a noble gentleman consoling a friend?” It was laughable that he even attempted this weak-ass excuse.

“No, Liz…”

“NO, Tom, NO! I was going to bring up this conversation later, but I see now that it should have been long, long ago instead. I suspected you were cheating on me, but I never had anything concrete. I felt like such an ass for assuming things that seemed ridiculous, but red flags really don’t lie. You are indeed, a lying, cheating bastard!”

Tom just stood there in his towel, dripping onto the carpet. His eyes were wide in disbelief. Liz had always bought his lies. He had her wrapped around his little finger, didn’t he? Liz was so gullible, but this? This wasn’t what he expected from her.

Quietly, Liz continued. “I want you out, Tom. I’m done.” She shook her head in dismay and disgust. “I kept trying so hard to believe you, I wanted to believe you. We were going to counseling and we had such a great date last week… I thought we would be ok. Then Friday I spoke to Raymond…”

“Wait, Raymond? You mean the counselor Mr. Reddington? Since when are you on a first name basis with the guy?”

“Shut up Tom. You don’t get to ask questions anymore. You don’t get to question me or anything I do. This is your fuckup. You’re the one who decided to start fucking around, thinking you were Mr. Big Man on Campus. You know what? Fuck you.” With that, Liz stormed out of the bedroom.

As she was beginning to descend the stairs, she turned and screamed back at him, “And I want you out of this house before tonight!” Proceeding down the stairs with authority, she grabbed her coat while walking out the front door and slammed it for good measure.


	9. Liz's Recovery Plan

Liz had walked the streets for a while, then retreated to her office. It was the only safe haven she could think of at the time. She was crying and fuming and a mix of emotions. That bastard!

She kept thinking of how stupid she had been. She had so desperately wanted their marriage to work out. Things had been so great before, then something changed. She had to admit that once she got her PhD Tom had started acting like a dick. He stopped sharing the cute little anecdotes from his class, stopped asking her opinion about silly things like field trips and games for the children. But why had that driven him to some other woman? Why couldn’t they talk about things anymore? When had she become so stupid?!

Still alternating between screaming at nothing and crying helplessly, Liz collapsed onto the floor. Nearly hyperventilating between sobs, she got up and ran to the bathroom, emptying her stomach into the toilet. Dammit. She stayed on the bathroom floor and curled up on the small rug.

She wondered about calling her friends for support, someone to bundle her up and take her off to get loaded somewhere. Definitely not Sarah. Divine marital bliss was nothing she wanted any part of right now. Not even Kayla. She’d be working tonight anyway and with how enamored she was with Tom, no way. She wished Sam was still alive, he was always great when she broke down. He’d understand. That just made her cry more.

She reached her knees and threw up again. Flushing the toilet, she laid her cheek on the cool porcelain of the seat. The light sweat that had broken out made her feel miserable. As if she needed any help with that. Never had she worked herself up so much that she had gotten physically sick. This was the lowest of her lows. 

Still thinking about someone to help her, she thought of Raymond. No, she wouldn’t call him. Something about hearing his beautiful voice spouting sympathy for her failed marriage wasn’t appealing. It felt more like guilt. It felt more like the same thing Tom had done. Run off to someone of the opposite sex to soothe your bruised ego. No, she wouldn’t call Raymond. She wouldn’t schedule any appointments with him either. Not until she felt like herself again, which may be quite a while.

xxxxxxxxxxx

Liz woke in the dark on the floor of her office bathroom. At some point she must have passed out from exhaustion. Her face felt plastered with dried tears and her stomach was not happy. She had to eat.

She washed her face quickly in the sink and set out for home. It was after 7pm and surely Tom would be gone. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------

Liz spent Sunday on the sofa in her living room with the curtains drawn. 

Tom had indeed been gone when she got home and some of his clothes had been emptied from the dresser in their bedroom. _Good riddance. If he doesn’t ask about the rest of his stuff, I’ll have a bonfire out back._

She didn’t feel like eating, but she grabbed a box of crackers and retreated to the couch. No way was she going upstairs to that bed tonight. She turned on the television and proceeded to munch on a few crackers to make her stomach stop hurting.

When she woke up on the couch Sunday, she decided quickly to stay put. Seeing her surroundings, she felt instantly bereft as she remembered that no one was there for her. She was struggling and suffering, but as she had concluded yesterday, there was no one to call. _If that isn’t enough to drag you into the darkness,_ she thought.

Slinking to the kitchen to grab a few more munchables and bottles of water, she determined that there was no reason to do anything at all. Setting up her food and drink on the table in the living room, she camped out on the couch with her picnic for one. _All I need now is a tub of ice cream melting on the table and I’ll be the picture of depression._

Liz shook her head and started crying.

Monday morning, she threw herself into her work and decided that was how she would bring herself out of this. Work.

She spent all of that night after her office hours in her office going about a plan for drumming up more business. _Tom used to be furious that I was not home on time. Well screw him._ Just this morning she had received a call from a woman who was referred by Raymond Reddington. She was worried about her children as she was going through a rather messy divorce with a custody battle.

Liz was so touched by Raymond’s thought of her work. He had known she was trying to build her clientele and now here he was sending her referrals. She nearly cried on the phone speaking to the woman. Not only was he listening and paying attention, he had thought of how to help her even when she wasn’t in his office. 

She made a mental note to call him, but after the day was over, she thought better of it. _I’m still a failure and nothing has changed._ It was always worse when it was quiet. And once she got home that night, it was definitely quiet. 

\----------------------------------------------------------------

Day after day, Liz kept to herself and made sure to work as many hours as she could. It kept her mind off of Tom and kept her from crying anymore.

One day when she had gotten home from work, she saw that Tom had come by and removed the rest of his things. _He still has a key!_ Liz knew she had to resolve that issue and now that Tom had all of his stuff, there was certainly no reason he needed to come back. She would call the locksmith in the morning.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

What Liz didn’t know was that every morning, like clockwork, Raymond would stop at the little café where he last saw her. She was never there.

She also hadn’t called his office to set up an appointment again. He was getting worried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has stayed with me through this. I still need to get my ideas down on paper (so to speak) because I still have more for this story.
> 
> Please share some love (kudos and comments are most definitely needed for encouragement).


	10. Time Flies

Several weeks without hearing from Liz pushed Raymond into action.

He had asked Kate to call her and gently remind her to set up another appointment. She did, but it went to voicemail every time.

Raymond had continued to stop by the café every morning, but he never bumped into her. He certainly didn’t want to call her and seem pushy. For all he knew, the conversation with Tom had gone well that weekend and she hadn’t thought of him again. He had referred a woman to call her and set up an appointment for her children, which he had expected would push Liz to thank him, but he heard nothing.

Raymond decided to continue his passive-aggressive stalking at the café but he also knew of one other place that he’d run into Liz before: the bar.

xxxxxxxxxxx

Kayla was toweling off the bar top one evening when she saw him walk in and sit down.

“Hey, aren’t you Liz’s co-worker?” she asked.

“Raymond Reddington,” he said and extended his hand. “I’m not sure that we’re co-workers as much as we’re in the same profession.”

“Well Raymond, I’m Kayla,” she said shaking his hand lightly, “what can I get for you?”

“Scotch, please.”

“So what brings you around here, Raymond? I’ve only seen you here that once when I was drinking with Liz.” She smiled knowingly. “I may have been drunk, but even I could see the chemistry there. You know Liz is married, right?”

Raymond laughed a little awkwardly. He didn’t realize how obvious his attraction had been to others. _I hope Tom didn’t read me as easily as Kayla did. That could put Liz in a dangerous position if she called him out on his infidelity and he turned the tables and threw it back in her face._ “Have you heard from Liz lately?” he felt it wise to direct the conversation away from himself.

“No, I haven’t since that night we were here. Why, is something wrong? I figured Liz would tell me if there was…” The concerned look on her face pinched her brow as she straightened glasses behind the bar. 

His concern must have come out in the question. He had intended it to be a simple conversation starter that could also further his knowledge of what may be going on, but apparently that strategy had gone awry. “Oh, I honestly couldn’t say, I was just inquiring about our mutual friend.” She gave him a look that said she didn’t buy it. _Damn, this girl sees right through me! How does she do that? Oh wait,_ he thought, _years of bartending has given her the hands-on equivalent of a PhD in counseling._ He sighed heavily. “I haven’t seen or heard from her in a few weeks. I thought maybe you had.”

“No, nothing, but that isn’t unusual with Liz. Before our night here at the bar I hadn’t heard from her in months. We seem to be in different places in our lives, ya know?”

Raymond nodded. He didn’t know what else to say that wouldn’t breach confidentiality. 

______________________________________________________

Elizabeth woke up on Saturday morning and discovered that she was out of coffee. She had watched her food supplies diminish over the last several weeks, but really hadn’t felt up to going grocery shopping. 

But now desperation drove her to exit her home early Saturday and trudge to the café for some coffee. She knew she looked a mess. Dressing to impress on a Saturday? Not high on the to-do list. Dressing to show that she even gave a damn? No. Sweats and a coat was good enough today.

As she was walking, her cell phone indicated that she had a message. She opened it to find some interesting information from Kayla. 

_Guess who’s been hanging out in the bar every night for the past two weeks?_

Puzzled, Liz shot a message back: _Who?_ She didn’t realize that she had stopped walking to study her phone. She was waiting for a reply.

_Raymond Reddington. He still looks hot in a suit! ;)_

Liz had a million questions all at once, but didn’t know which to ask Kayla, or if she even should. Why was he spending so much time at the bar? What, if anything, had he said to Kayla? Did Kayla know about her and Tom? Did she know what Tom did or that he wasn’t living with her anymore? She decided to tread carefully: _Why has he been at the bar so often?_ Liz decided to move up against the cover of a tree on the sidewalk.

_I certainly don’t know, he’s usually over in a booth and keeps to himself. But if I had to guess, I’d say he was waiting for someone._

That was when Liz knew. She had avoided the messages Kate left for her to schedule new appointments. It had been weeks since she spoke to him last and he knew that she was confronting Tom. She really needed to speak to him, but she hadn’t felt like herself the past several weeks. Maybe she could at least extend him a courtesy call to let him know that she was okay. She certainly didn’t want to see him in this state. 

With her mind made up to call him on Monday, Liz proceeded to the café.

xxxxxxxxxxx

As was his habit now, Raymond made his way to the café. He settled down at a small table with his newspaper and tea. A waitress came and cleaned up the plate that held his croissant and asked if he needed anything else. Politely dismissing her, he returned to his reading.

When the bell on the door jingled, Raymond looked up casually. Liz walked in, hands in her coat pockets, looking a little worse for wear. Her face was drawn and she had dark circles under her eyes. The coat appeared too big for her and the sweatpants she wore hung loosely from her hips. He guessed that she had lost weight.

She moved slowly over to the line to order a coffee, seemingly in a daze. She hadn’t noticed him.

Raymond stood and walked over to the counter where she awaited her order. The barista called out her order as he walked up. “Hello Elizabeth,” he offered quietly.

She still jumped slightly sideways, glancing over her shoulder. When she saw him, her eyes grew wide and she inhaled to respond. She looked disappointed. “Raymond…”

He couldn’t imagine why she would be disappointed to see him. Maybe he really had overstepped his bounds. He began thinking of ways to backpedal and excuse himself. “I just saw you come in and thought I would say hello. It’s been quite some time.”

“Yes, I’m afraid it has. I’m terribly sorry for that too, I was just planning on calling you next week. I got Kate’s messages, but I haven’t exactly remembered to call…” She looked lost. Raymond was beginning to put some pieces together, but it was obvious she was depressed. Before he could respond, she continued. “Tom’s gone. Things went sideways pretty fast after I last saw you. Since then I haven’t been myself.”

“I had wondered after not hearing from you. Would you like to sit down?” He extended his hand toward the table at which he’d been seated and moved to pull out a chair for her.

“I’m not sure this is the best place,” she said. She didn’t want to seem ungrateful, but she looked and felt awful and the last thing she needed was to cry her eyes out in front of the whole city. “Maybe we could walk?”

“Of course, I’d love to.”


	11. Truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still don't own The Blacklist or any of the characters. Just borrowing them for my own literary fantasy.

Raymond and Liz walked several blocks in silence. She kept her head down and walked very slowly, often sighing out deep breaths as she went over things in her head. 

Raymond remained silent while she gathered her thoughts. He looked around frequently, as Liz was clearly unaware of her surroundings. He wasn’t sure what he was looking for exactly, but he wanted to protect her from everything external since he couldn’t help her with her internal battle until she spoke.

Several blocks from the café, she began speaking softly. “I said things had gone sideways after I last saw you. I think it’s more that I’ve gone sideways after what I found out about Tom.”

She shook her head and huffed a self-deprecating laugh. “I was right to suspect him, but I’m sure you knew that much.” She sniffed and wiped her eyes with her hand as they began to tear up. 

Raymond passed her a handkerchief that he kept in his breast pocket and was met with a sad smile from Liz. He decided to remain quiet until she had finished speaking. He knew it would be cathartic to allow her this release of thoughts and emotions.

Dabbing the corners of her eyes with the handkerchief and blinking rapidly, she tried to control her tears, but realized it was useless. They were tearing up faster than she could blink or wipe them away. She shook her head again as the loss overcame her.

Raymond had kept close, but maintained a respectable distance from her as she spoke. When he realized that she was losing her battle with her tears and seemed ashamed of it, he gently grabbed her elbow and directed her toward a bench in a nearby courtyard behind some apartments.

She sat heavily and cried covering her face. Unable to tolerate her shame anymore, Raymond hesitantly guided her into his arms, offering what comfort he could. “It’s okay Lizzie, it’s perfectly acceptable to cry with what you’ve been through. Don’t feel the need to hold back what you feel.”

She had been crying into her hands which he had brought to his chest, but once he spoke she had grabbed fistfuls of his jacket in her hands and cried openly. He held her as tight as he dared while rubbing soothing circles up and down her back. They remained seated and embracing for a while as Liz was allowed to feel her grief fully supported by another person. She hadn’t dared to let go as long as she was by herself. She knew the state she was already in and didn’t want to lose herself to the depths of depression.

She had been familiar with depression, not only studying it as her chosen profession, but living it various times throughout her life. She knew how easily it could overtake any sense of purpose or self and she did not want to go there alone. She had a business to maintain and bills to pay. So for the last few months she had become a functioning depressive. Of course, all that had done was prolong the darkness as she had drawn it in instead of letting it go. Now, she was not alone.

As she began to settle down, she pulled back slightly and looked at the wet stain on his jacket. “I’m sorry for ugly crying on your jacket. I hope that won’t leave a stain.”

When she glanced up at Raymond, the look he was giving her wasn’t one of pity, as she had expected. His face was serious and his eyes were trained on hers. She immediately felt something else in the look between them. It made her feel nervous and awkward, so she looked away.

She hadn’t expected to run into feelings like this while she was such a mess. _Who in their right mind would…_ but then she realized. Raymond had been at the café this morning. Kayla had texted her about his constant presence at the bar… _I’d say he was waiting for someone._

Her eyes grew wide and her jaw slackened as she slowly looked back to him. That same look was still on his face. It was full of adoration and caring, even questioning. He… he had been looking for her… waiting for her. “You’ve been… this morning… and Kayla told me… Why didn’t you just call me?”

“I didn’t know what had happened that day Tom returned home. I knew you were going to confront him, but I wasn’t sure what had transpired. You didn’t make any new appointments and I didn’t want to pry in case you and Tom had…” He looked at the ground and pulled his hands from her shoulders down to hold both of her hands. “After a while I became concerned. I needed to find out and figured casually bumping into you would give me the chance to ask.”

“Raymond,” when he looked up, she had fresh tears in her eyes, but she was smiling at him. She disentangled one of her hands from his and reached up to cup his cheek. “Thank you. For caring, for being worried,” she giggled, “for stalking me.”

Shaking his head slightly, he opened his mouth to respond, but she caught him off guard by leaning forward to kiss him. It was quick, but settled in and ended slowly. Both drew back carefully looking into each other’s eyes. Neither knew exactly what to say, but Raymond spoke first. 

“Lizzie, I…” but she interrupted him.

“Walk me home Ray.”

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Tom had been sitting on the steps to her apartment for about twenty minutes. He figured she was still out for her morning run and would return shortly, then they could talk.

He stood as he heard her talking and saw her round the corner. She was walking slowly beside… Raymond Reddington? She had her arm through his and they seemed oblivious to the world around them. Neither had even noticed him on the stoop.

“I see you’ve started having sessions outside of office hours,” Tom spat.

Both Liz and Raymond looked up, startled by Tom’s jab. Liz hastily broke away from Ray’s arm and she took a few steps toward Tom with her hands up in surrender, attempting to placate his anger. 

“Tom, please, I simply ran into Raymond at the café while getting my coffee.”

“Oh, it’s _Raymond_ now, is it? You two sure looked pretty cozy walking down the street hanging all over each other.” Tom was beginning to wave his hands around animatedly.

Raymond had assessed the situation and noticed that Tom had looked… wrecked. He was scruffy and disheveled; it appeared he had even been crying. Perhaps his affair was over now as he had appeared on Lizzie’s doorstep. _Tom’s bruised ego makes him dangerous. He’ll want to regain control of his life and assert his dominance in any way he can._ Raymond knew he couldn’t leave Lizzie here with him alone under any circumstances.

Liz continued on, “Tom, why are you here?”

“I need you, Liz. It’s been hell without you.” His tenor had changed and his voice was at once quiet and pleading. “I’m so sorry for what I did… I really screwed up Liz.”

“What you did? Can’t you even say it? You cheated on me, Tom.” She couldn’t help it. With Raymond there, she couldn’t help but antagonize Tom. She knew Raymond was the real thing and the possibility of a future with him made Tom’s presence a threat. “Let me guess, Ashley dumped you, and now you’re crawling back to me because stupid Liz will always want Tom.”

She watched his expression change back to anger that contorted his face into something inhuman. He was practically snarling at her comment.

“You don’t belong here anymore. I was right to make you leave then and I still don’t want you here now.” Liz hoped he would just take off without making any more of a scene on her doorstep. 

He started to move down the stairs toward her when Raymond spoke up. “The lady asked you to leave, Tom.” He watched Tom’s head snap toward him, narrowing his eyes and fixing his gaze on him instead.

“You thought you could just swoop in once she kicked me out? Come on, old man, you’re old enough to be her father.” Tom grinned at his cleverness, hoping Raymond would punch him for the comment.  
Raymond didn’t bite, however. “Goodbye, Tom. Come on, Lizzie, let’s go inside.” He stretched his arm out behind her back and ushered her up the stairs. 

Liz pulled out the key, opened the lock and stepped inside with Raymond. Once they were in, he turned to shut the door on Tom at the bottom of the stairs, watching them. He locked the door for safety before turning around to find Liz motionless in front of him. She hadn’t moved since he pushed her inside.

“Lizzie? Are you okay?” He reached for her again, fingers gently brushing her shoulder.

The touch brought her back to herself as she turned and launched into Raymond’s arms, shaking and on the verge of tears. “Oh my God,” she gasped. “I was so afraid. I had figured that I’d never have to see him again. He was so angry…”

“Don’t worry about him, Lizzie. I’m here, and I won’t let anything happen to you.”


End file.
